I am four days into a digital marketing course.
Part of the course involves creating products to incorporate into your marketing strategy. I created an eBook, “7 Tools for Emotional Healing”. This is a powerful compact summary of the skills and exercises I teach my clients to process and heal unresolved emotions that often stem from childhood experiences. Additionally, as the whole world is experiencing anxiety at the moment, I felt it had the potential to help a lot of people.
And…..as is wont to happen when I am attempting to teach or convey a concept to help others, the Universe drops me into the middle of a situation with the words “do you know that of which you speak? Show me.”
You guessed it. Since the start of the course I have been swamped with stress and anxiety. It climaxed yesterday when I bounced out of bed at 4am and worked ten hours straight creating various pieces of content and attempting to incorporate the skills we have been taught. By 2pm I was back in bed - an exhausted mess.
Over the following 12 hours I tried to move out of the ‘stress response’ into the ‘relaxation response’, out of the sympathetic nervous system into the parasympathetic nervous system, from anxiety into peace and acceptance. I tried every exercise in my eBook and they were not as effective as I would have expected. I fell into bed later that night after a Zoom training call with Mark and the other participants wondering what the hell I was teaching. The answer bloomed within me this morning just after I woke up.
When I went to bed the title was “6 Steps….” I realised I needed to add another step: “Identify”. That is, identify why specifically I am stressed and anxious. It went deeper than just stressing over learning completely new skills in an immersive format. This is what I identified within this anxiety and stress:
Perfectionism - trying to be perfect, to get an ‘A’ on my test.
Trying to be seen as a ‘good girl’ doing what the teacher asked.
Needing to be at the top of the class.
Needing to be important.
Trying to be accepted by the group.
Trying to gain recognition from the teacher, or, more correctly ‘Dad’. (As I wrote this I began to sob - I’ve just gotten to the core of why the Universe put me in this scenario, i.e. what still needed to be seen and resolved and healed). Unsurprisingly it had its roots in my childhood. My light language also began to pour out of me at this moment too in confirmation of the beauty and importance of this release and healing.
So, as I encourage my clients, as I encourage myself, I encourage you to stay open and aware of why you are being triggered in any situation in which you find yourself. What is it you are thinking and feeling about a situation? And what is the emotion behind those thoughts.
As I sit here in my pajamas, at peace, drinking tea while typing this I’m once again amazed at this process of evolution and ascension. There are no accidents, everything happens for a purpose and I am divinely guided. I give thanks for my life, the people in it and the experiences I encounter.
My love to you.
